but boy am i getting a hell lot of exposure in the working world. office politics, problems, challenges……and the list goes on

i may not like working in a bank (or operations department) because of my personality/my nature. but i’m just gonna look at the positives and thrive on it. and i know that i shouldn’t just carry this attitude into the workplace, but into my daily life as well

anyway, i’ve reached a juncture where i can no longer proclaim that i’m a teenager. but it also means that i’m one step closer into the world of adulthood. although i’ve sneak peeks into it, the reality of it is slowing hitting me

but before i proceed any further, i wanna look back into my past

and looking back, i wanna firstly thank everyone that have believed in me. those that saw raw potential, took me along with them and brought me along with them…you’re the very reason for who i am right now.

i used to be a shy and timid guy with a curious mind. with much guidance, i’m someone with leadership potential and one that people claim to be an extrovert. how true that is…well, it’s up to you to decide.

but really, a huge thank you to those that have impacted my past 20 years of life

along the way, i somewhat developed my own personal mission. even though it’s somewhat generic now, i know it’ll get more clearly defined in time to come. and that mission is to inspire people to do better. i hope that i’ve done just that with everyone and everything that i’ve come into contact with have benefited from my personal mission

i’ll continue to live and thrive on this mission of mine

if there’s any song that has been motivating me, it’s gotta be this song

“I have never lost anything quite like this
No second chances if I don’t find it

I can
I will
I know
I can untie these hands
And get backup again”

it’s a simple song, but one with impact. at least to me

anyway, if i’m seeing you around or seeing you soon, i’d love to give you a speech face to face

but…what if the dilemma involved losing a friend for personal space and comfort? damn.

but i’m really sick and tired of being a disappointment.

the reason that i’m where i am right now is because of the opportunities that were presented by people around me. these were people that believed in me. at this juncture, i would like to thank you for all the support that you’ve given to me

i may not have impressed everybody along the way. in fact, i may have let more people down that i have impressed. my pursuit for success has made me more self-centred than selfless has made me oblivious to this fact probably or some time now.

is my personal philosophy working? perhaps not. something needs to change. i cannot let the people that have believed in me, down. for those that i have disappointed, i may or may not know that i have down so; but i am truly sorry for doing so

with this post, here’s my commitment to make some personal changes.

and unsurprisingly, the results were disturbing. i found myself acting like another person. i wasn’t myself, i couldn’t be myself. i was a prisoner to my brains, my thoughts.

up till this very day, the phrase “everything will be alright” never appealed to me. it never works. it like using panadol to fight cancer.

how i wish there was another remedy, though.

my blood has never boiled so much before. i’ve never made so many cumulative mistakes in my entire life before. yes, it even includes making decisions while driving. i find myself fickle-minded lately.

ah whatever. i just need time to recuperate and press on with the work at hand. while doing so, i was looking through the photos about my california trip. oh how i miss california a lot.

should i move to california? perhaps to study there?

from the golden gate bridge

alcatraz! (well, the ferry point)

the entrance of the school we studied at: menlo college. it’s a really small school located in menlo park. oh and, its a mile away from apple and facebook! cool right :D

the dorm that we stayed at. just thinking about it makes me miss all the fun times we had together in the living room. i miss my room mate, all the fun and jokes at night. haha dont misinterpret that sentence okay

the beautiful mountain, the beautiful scenery

its me, the cold air and the beautiful scenery

my roommate and i at the golden gate bridge :D

the clique jumpshotting at alcatraz. man, i dont think we even do such stuff in singapore now…

coit tower!

there are so many photos of us (the team and I) in california. all we have to cherish are our memories and the friendship that we have forged over the 3 weeks there.

if you asked me, i’d definitely consider studying in the USA. now…as for my SAT paper…

hello, i’m updating my blog again because…it deserves this post. and the content of this post has been triggered by a series of thought processes since my last post (HAHA, excuses.)

i find it strange that people hate the things they study, yet, upon graduation, they’d miss everything that they’ve come across during their course of study. for me, although i miss studying in secondary school, i do miss my teachers to a certain extent.

but personally, i think that my teachers aren’t the best educators. nope, it’s not google, yahoo or bing. instead, it’s my parents. and it’s funny how they are still able to educate me despite the lack of a “syllabus”.

all of us have a role model: someone that we all can look up to. i’ve someone to look up to; and they’re my parents. they’ve been working hard to bring back every dollar and cent to support my brothers and I. they’ll make sure that we have what we need. although my family isn’t as united as others, I feel that my parents are the perfect ones for me.

if you look up my achievement list (it’s not…fully updated), you might notice that i’ve a couple of achievements that are…well…I couldn’t have gotten it if my father didn’t say, “One day, I hope that I’ll be there to see you get it” or “Why not just try your luck? You’d never know”.

they’re definitely my source of inspiration. for some strange reason, I’d listen to them. I’d try my luck and somehow, 20-50% of the time, the results might be in my favour. if it isn’t…yes i’ll feel disappointed. but my parents would never fail to pick me up. their stories, though i know nothing much, is one that many would come to appreciate. what they’ve done for my family and i…it’s simply remarkable.

although there might be ugly times when I get scolded by them…it’s because of them that I’m able to keep quiet in class and listen to the teacher teach about the topic. that way, I’d be able to score and do well.

more often than not, we might misunderstand their intentions…but 90% of their times, we benefit from their actions. the fact that they bother to do something about us shows their care and concern for us and our future.

yes, if you’re a parent and you’re reading this: you’ve the most important job in the whole entire world: an educator to your children. perhaps one day, your child(ren) will be writing a blog post like this!

i’ve been super open-minded and transparent. how much transparent do you want me to be?

yeah whatever, you’re perpetually right. let’s leave it that way alright?

there are certain problems that i wished. one problem from a year ago. i just need that distance. i need the time to sort out of my problems, my life.

no matter how good a person may seem from far, he or she has issues. in my dreams, i’m crying for help…but no one can hear my helpless cries

but i’m just glad that i’ve been efficient enough to clear problem after problem and work after work. being overloaded with work ain’t fun. i think my thought process is screwed. catch me off guard and i’d struggle to give you a firm and proper answer

i feel bad…but i used another way to get this person to hate me. i tried so many times and i hope it finally worked. i feel bad for doing it…but…i have no choice. a problem that lasts for four weeks…a year: it’s just too much. those were the good days, now it’s time for darker ones

i’ll make it through. oh yes i will.

but if there’s one thing that i’ve learnt over the past few years in my polytechnic life, it’s to challenge authority.

in the past, i used to respect hierarchies. everyone above me commanded the highest level of respect from me. i was even super careful in the way i spoke to them.

but as i (aged isn’t a good word) grew more mature, i started to realise that hierarchy is just a ladder of people with power; a position. after awhile, i came to a conclusion that they’re just like any other human beings.

really, think about it! what makes them so different from us?

it might sound offending, but i think challenging authority is a good phenomenon. the fact that we’re all human beings simply means we’re imperfect: we tend to make mistakes. and that’s when challenging the authority, challenging the status quo helps.

it helps to open a new view, a new opinion. in other words, you’re just telling them (the higher authority people) that your idea is much more better than theirs.

what’s wrong with that?

but i do feel a difference after the china trip, believe it or not

i’ve learnt much during the trip, but nothing so much as what i’ve learnt and felt personally. interactions with my teachers and friends have helped me to realize who i really am

from an introvert background, you can learn to be another person: to speak up and change the community. that’s the path i went through. pressure crafted me into the person i am today

but there are certain things that pressure cannot change. and that’s the mistakes i made in the past. roughly one year ago, it was the beginning of the mistake that i stubbornly dwelled into. despite advise and obvious signs, i stubbornly ignored all of them.

i accept the consequences. i deserve them.

but there is one consequence that i was i could undo. i’m been working real hard to overturn it. but…i think my efforts aren’t bearing any fruits. maybe our time is over. i’m on the verge of giving up. i don’t know.

if you’re the one concerned, well…just know that what happened has happened. it has impacted us greatly and there is no turning back. thank you for the memories

as for you, i’m working hard to win your heart and soul. whatever it takes, i’ll try my very best

but hey! the taxi driver taught us something!

in china, because there is so many people and the traffic very chaotic throughout the day, there is a high chance of someone being knocked down by traffic; some even killed. however…since there’s so many chinese people…they don’t have the space/time to have a properly burial for these people

as such, they burn them on the streets!!!

and i saw one of them burning a body smack in the middle of the road in tianjin! gawd. if i choose to do overseas internship, i’d gladly avoid china for this reason

just keeding

but this day, china is definitely taking a toll on me. the culture, the language: they are all obstacles for me. all i’m trying to do now is to simply keep my sanity intact.

with no access to facebook, i’m cant upload my photos that means i can’t upload any photos i took on my blog today. but i promise to when i come back!

anyway, today we visited 2 different places: jianguo hotel and 798 art zone! in jianguo hotel, i kinda saw westernization is occuring in china subtly. yet, the chinese people are able to preserve their culture strongly.

their culture is preserved in many ways, from their choice of furniture in the hotel to the furnishings in the lobby to the posters around the hotel. there is also a drama theatre that is super chinese-like. it’s kinda hard to explain in words…but step into the theatre and you know you’re in china.

reality check baby!

conveniently, there are two restaurants (chinese and western) in that hotel too! the layout is veryyyyyy different. the choice of carpeting…everything!

i’m simply amazed at how the chinese people are just able to preserve their culture

next, we went to the beijing 798 art zone! that place is basically an art scene. it’s where artists from around china (maybe around the world?) congregate in one area in the name of art. and boy oh boy, the place is soooo beautiful in its own way

there is graffiti drawn on every other wall: but that itself creates the environment. it sets the mood for what is to come. likewise, i cannot express the environment in thoughts and words; only through pictures

oh and, i even got a face drawing of myself! this guy drew a picture of me within minutes! i think it was less than 5? AND IT’S…okay not say damn nice but…HE IS DAMN TALENTED! within the same amount of time, i guess i’d only be able to manage stick figures

anyway, my learning point for the past few days is…LEARN CHINESE AND MASTER THE LANGUAGE AS WELL AS YOU CAN. i really regret for not appreciating the culture better, for not learning or mastering the language at all. i blame my primary 2 chinese teacher for that

if you’re that teacher…YOU’RE THE CAUSE OF MY HATRED FOR CHINESEEEEEEE. GRRRRR.

anyway, tmrw’s gonna be a longggg day. i’ll update my blog when i have the time! till then chinese-boy-that-doesnt-speak-fluent-chinese signing off!

well, i got that a lot. and well…i thought i’d give china a try! and make no mistake, china is a beautiful place! my perception of the country has changed a lot.

where possible, i’ll update about the past 2 days. but today, here’s my entry for day 3!

we visited the yanjing beer group and bird nest stadium!!!!

at the beer group place, we had a tour about how the company is being run and then walked around to see some of the production facilities. it’s kinda different there because space is in abundance! it’s like…the whole production facility is as big as ngee ann? if not bigger! we only managed to walk into two or three buildings. imagine the staff hostel, the generators etc etc

THAT PLACE IS HUGE!!!! i’ll upload photos when i can…which is when i get back to singapore

next, we visited the bird nest stadium! and gosh, first of all: pictures do deceive people. i thought the bird nest was relatively small…until i went there in person. gosh, the place is hugeeeeeeee

we climbed from the first storey to the tallest point in the stadium. and guess what, we were sweating! it’s a big deal because…the weather is cold here! we aren’t supposed to sweat at all! anyway, i took quite a number of photos and a few videos.

likewise, i’ll share them when i can. most probably, the photos would end up on facebook heh

anyway, to be honest: i prefer the lifestyle in singapore. though it’s much faster and hectic, people are more…how should i say this: civilised? i can walk across a zebra crossing with a peace of mind AND without having to fear that something bad would happen to me if i’m not careful.

yep.

with this, i end my entry for day 3 of my china adventures! (yep, day 3 and i’m still surviving!)

cheerious!

there’s just too many things happening at once. too much pain. too much grief

friends are leaving for internship
people are suffering

the only consolation i have? telling myself that everything will be okay.

Cause I know everything’s gonna be alright
Now you’re standing here right by my side
And we dance on, dance on, we gonna dance on
Ain’t gonna work for life when we know we can dance on
Everything’s gonna be okay
The streets will lighten up my way
So we dance on, dance on, we gonna dance on
Ain’t gonna work for life when we know we can dance on

lyrics from we dnace on by N-Dubz ft. Bodyrox. It’s a meaningful song, with meaningful lyrics.

but telling myself that everything will be okay ain’t gonna work. i realise…i need You.

):

as much as i try to shake off my obligations. grr, new ones just keep popping up. well, what can i do? guess i’ll just sleep for as long and as much as I can

anyway, this blog deserves some justice! it deserves some blog posts and peektures! so i’ll start with the most recent happenings (cause you can’t and won’t be bothered with what happened 1239 days ago right?)

on sunday, i cycled 40km with richmond for the ocbc cycle singapore! while i’m not proud of the timing i got…it’s really something that i’ve been wanting to do.

the both of us.

well, there were supposed to be 4 of us cycling together. then…it became 3. then it became 2. shall not name names…but boy did they miss out on the experience

if given the chance, i’d go again next year! but it’s so troublesome! having the need to rent bicycles and bringing them down on event day. if i were the organiser, i’d do something about it

i quite like this photo! maybe because it looks like i’m some important person and everyone is interviewing me well, in that photo, we were sending qinyi off! and well, i kinda wanted to do something different for her! so…i spoke “korean”!

the video’s on my facebook profile, so go and have a look!

i had no idea what i was saying! i remember it went something like “good evening! the sky is blue. have you eaten your kimchi? ……..” totally FORGOT hahaha

kinda fail. but. the idea’s there i’ll think of better ideas next time!

anyway, i guess you’ve enough of reading crap! so i’ll end this post with a song!

i love this singer, i love this song. it’s so…assuring. enjoy!

(note: this post is long overdue, so i’ll try my very best to make sure that the anticipation was worth the wait )

i’ve been to hong kong before, with my friends. so i roughly knew what to expect. however, this trip was much different.

the view from the airplane seat

though it’s a beautiful sight, dad didn’t book a direct flight from Singapore to Hong Kong. our journey to the country was firstly by the KTM train at night to KL. From there, we’d take the transit train to the KL International Airport. Then from there, we’d take a flight to hong kong.

why didn’t we book a direct flight hk? that i cannot answer you. but if there’s one thing that i love about this arrangement: i took lots and lots of train rides

i’ve a love for trains :D i might even consider joining smrt as a train driver when i grow older!

“Transit to KLIA…12 Mins”

Oh yeah, the train comes every half-an-hour. imagine how long we had to wait for the stupid train!

i got so bored i started camwhoring. those are my brothers btw!

we were quite frustrated from waiting (cause we had to wait for sooooo many things) but when the train came…

i felt so happy we were one step closer to hong kong!

when we got to the airport…boy oh boy did we got even more frustrated. we, well…mostly for me, lived in a world where we thought that planes would arrive and depart on time as scheduled. to our disappointment, our flight got delayed by three freaking hours

THREE FREAKING HOURS

james’ expression says it all

we were definitely frustrated. but i’m over this frustration…since a month ago haha. so let me pick up from where the first picture of this post!

when we landed, dad wanted to save money by not taking a cab. instead, we took the airport transfer train (whee, another train!) to somewhere. there, we could hop onto a shuttle bus that’ll bring us straight to our hotel.

and i have to say, THE HOTEL IS SO AWESOME. i can’t find the photos of our hotel room, but to begin with, it’s damn bloody spacious! i kinda forgot the hotel name…but i know it’s near mongkok east mtr station!

anyhoo, the next day, we went out to travel around hong kong. one of the places we went to was the peak

the view from the peak.

from down below, the pace of life reminded us of how things were in singapore. but from up the peak…it didn’t feel like it. it felt like i was in a different world…

maybe it’s cause of the cooling weather! i was still shivering even though i had my hoodie on

it was so cold that we tried to keep james warm! (you know that’s not the right reason haha)

i’ve to stop here because i need to continue working on my projects! the very reason why i’m unable to keep this blog updated as often as i wish i could. but it’s all ending soon!

(btw, i didn’t manage to find time to edit this blog post. thus the spelling/grammar errors. sorry for them!)

be back soon!

their live performance is better than katy perry’s heh.