prisoner of thoughts

Posted on July 21, 2011 by shaunie.
Categories: thoughts.

for the past few days, my brain has been playing tricks on my mind. its been creating thoughts and false situations…perhaps to see how my mind plays with itself.

and unsurprisingly, the results were disturbing. i found myself acting like another person. i wasn’t myself, i couldn’t be myself. i was a prisoner to my brains, my thoughts.

up till this very day, the phrase “everything will be alright” never appealed to me. it never works. it like using panadol to fight cancer.

how i wish there was another remedy, though.

oh how i miss california,

Posted on July 19, 2011 by shaunie.
Categories: pictures!, thoughts.

it’s 1:52AM on a tuesday morning. although it’s late at night now, i’m just glad that monday is over. it’s probably the worst saturday, sunday and monday ever…and i guess its a harbinger for something else.

my blood has never boiled so much before. i’ve never made so many cumulative mistakes in my entire life before. yes, it even includes making decisions while driving. i find myself fickle-minded lately.

ah whatever. i just need time to recuperate and press on with the work at hand. while doing so, i was looking through the photos about my california trip. oh how i miss california a lot.

should i move to california? perhaps to study there?


from the golden gate bridge


alcatraz! (well, the ferry point)


the entrance of the school we studied at: menlo college. it’s a really small school located in menlo park. oh and, its a mile away from apple and facebook! cool right :D :D


the dorm that we stayed at. just thinking about it makes me miss all the fun times we had together in the living room. i miss my room mate, all the fun and jokes at night. haha dont misinterpret that sentence okay


the beautiful mountain, the beautiful scenery


its me, the cold air and the beautiful scenery


my roommate and i at the golden gate bridge :D :D


the clique jumpshotting at alcatraz. man, i dont think we even do such stuff in singapore now…


coit tower!

there are so many photos of us (the team and I) in california. all we have to cherish are our memories and the friendship that we have forged over the 3 weeks there.

if you asked me, i’d definitely consider studying in the USA. now…as for my SAT paper…

the best educators in the world?

Posted on July 18, 2011 by shaunie.
Categories: thoughts.

this phrase has been lingering in my head for quite sometime…who exactly are the best educators in the world? for some people, they might have favourite tutors/teachers that make learning a particular subject more interesting and fun. yet, there are some whom have done the exact opposite.

hello, i’m updating my blog again because…it deserves this post. and the content of this post has been triggered by a series of thought processes since my last post (HAHA, excuses.)

i find it strange that people hate the things they study, yet, upon graduation, they’d miss everything that they’ve come across during their course of study. for me, although i miss studying in secondary school, i do miss my teachers to a certain extent.

but personally, i think that my teachers aren’t the best educators. nope, it’s not google, yahoo or bing. instead, it’s my parents. and it’s funny how they are still able to educate me despite the lack of a “syllabus”.

all of us have a role model: someone that we all can look up to. i’ve someone to look up to; and they’re my parents. they’ve been working hard to bring back every dollar and cent to support my brothers and I. they’ll make sure that we have what we need. although my family isn’t as united as others, I feel that my parents are the perfect ones for me.

if you look up my achievement list (it’s not…fully updated), you might notice that i’ve a couple of achievements that are…well…I couldn’t have gotten it if my father didn’t say, “One day, I hope that I’ll be there to see you get it” or “Why not just try your luck? You’d never know”.

they’re definitely my source of inspiration. for some strange reason, I’d listen to them. I’d try my luck and somehow, 20-50% of the time, the results might be in my favour. if it isn’t…yes i’ll feel disappointed. but my parents would never fail to pick me up. their stories, though i know nothing much, is one that many would come to appreciate. what they’ve done for my family and i…it’s simply remarkable.

although there might be ugly times when I get scolded by them…it’s because of them that I’m able to keep quiet in class and listen to the teacher teach about the topic. that way, I’d be able to score and do well.

more often than not, we might misunderstand their intentions…but 90% of their times, we benefit from their actions. the fact that they bother to do something about us shows their care and concern for us and our future.

yes, if you’re a parent and you’re reading this: you’ve the most important job in the whole entire world: an educator to your children. perhaps one day, your child(ren) will be writing a blog post like this! ;)

just leave me alone.

Posted on May 23, 2011 by shaunie.
Categories: Uncategorized.

it’s bloody irritating when someone blames you for something you didn’t do. all the accusations, the threatening and all that: what dont you understand??!

i’ve been super open-minded and transparent. how much transparent do you want me to be?

yeah whatever, you’re perpetually right. let’s leave it that way alright?

tough decisions

Posted on May 19, 2011 by shaunie.
Categories: my strength/weakness R, personal journal.

the past few weeks have been really difficult for me. i’m midway into week 5 of school term and honestly, if there’s any more work…i’ll crumble. as much as i want to take up more commitments, i think fatigue is starting to catch up. i seek rest. i seek comfort.

there are certain problems that i wished. one problem from a year ago. i just need that distance. i need the time to sort out of my problems, my life.

no matter how good a person may seem from far, he or she has issues. in my dreams, i’m crying for help…but no one can hear my helpless cries

but i’m just glad that i’ve been efficient enough to clear problem after problem and work after work. being overloaded with work ain’t fun. i think my thought process is screwed. catch me off guard and i’d struggle to give you a firm and proper answer

i feel bad…but i used another way to get this person to hate me. i tried so many times and i hope it finally worked. i feel bad for doing it…but…i have no choice. a problem that lasts for four weeks…a year: it’s just too much. those were the good days, now it’s time for darker ones

i’ll make it through. oh yes i will.